Navigating life often comes with bouts of anxiety that pop up in both big and small moments. However, in these rough patches, I've found that my faith stands as a firm anchor, offering comfort and guidance. In this piece, I'd like to share my personal journey, explaining how faith has been my constant ally, helping me manage the ups and downs of anxiety, and showing me how to find peace amidst worry.
My husband and I were at a mall when a long-buried memory from my childhood resurfaced. I was just seven years old when I lost a bag containing PHP5,000 - a significant amount of money my mother put in my small bag, thinking it would be safe in the hands of a child. I remember the disappointment echoing in the busy mall. My tears drew further punishment, as they were viewed as an 'embarrassment'. Overcome with guilt, worry, and fear, I thought that my mom would abandon me right then and there because of what had happened. This memory resurfaces whenever I'm in a mall. Usually, I brush it aside, but upon deeper reflection, I realize the impact it has had on how I manage my finances. Whenever I have less than a set amount of money or face an unexpected expense, it sends me into a spiral of emotions, making me irritable, anxious, helpless, and depressed.
I am grateful that I've come a long way since then, though to be honest, there's still a longer path to heal from this mindset. I am just glad that God found me and has released me from the chains or worry. That is probably why I hold on to this life verse:
We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. Romans 8:28 AMPC
Often, when I forget about my identity in Christ, I overwork myself. I take on more tasks than I can handle, be overly apologetic just to seem more agreeable, and instead of being fully honest about it, I would sacrifice my health to avoid the imaginary judgements. I would not sleep, sometimes I would even forget to eat, and it also doesn't help that my self-talk was not friendly at all. My head is always in overdrive, filled with if-else statements. It was exhausting. I was always running like something is about to get me when there wasn't. But God, just like what He has done to Joseph, made everything count. When I read the story of Joseph in Genesis, it fills me with relief knowing that God is always with me, as He says here:
The Lord was with Joseph, and he [even though a slave] became a successful and prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. Genesis 39:2 AMP
Even though at times, am a slave in my head, I could say that I became successful and prosperous in my own terms. Moments where I thought we would be lacking but He always provides. He is truly Jehovah-Jireh. Jesus has broken my chains and set me free. In retrospect, God's desire is to make me live my best life without any worries. On sleepless nights He would put me to sleep, reminding me that tomorrow will be a new day.
The journey towards living life anxiety-free is full of fluctuations but rest assured it is still moving upwards in the long term. Loving this verse from Matthew 6:25-34 AMP, I hope we keep this in our hearts and minds and live in the grace that Jesus has introduced us to:
The Cure for Anxiety
25 “Therefore I tell you, stop being worried or anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted) about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, as to what you will wear. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing?
26 Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow [seed] nor reap [the harvest] nor gather [the crops] into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?
27 And who of you by worrying can add one hour to [the length of] his life?
28 And why are you worried about clothes? See how the lilies and wildflowers of the field grow; they do not labor nor do they spin [wool to make clothing],
29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory and splendor dressed himself like one of these.
30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive and green today and tomorrow is [cut and] thrown [as fuel] into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
31 Therefore do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted), saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’
32 For the [pagan] Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; [but do not worry,] for your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.
34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression, anxiety or any mental health issues, it is okay to ask for help. Here are some resources:
- National Center for Mental Health Crisis Hotline - 0966-351-4518
- HopelinePH - 24/7 Suicide Prevention and Emotional Crisis Line - (Globe) 0917-558-4673, (Smart) - 0918-873-4673, (PLDT) - (02)8804-4673
- GrayMatters Psychological and Consultancy, Inc. - (Clinical Division) 0917-709-6961, (Landline) - (02)8938-0726